Day 3: What’s on your mind?
When I first saw this question, why did I initially want to start writing this blog, I hadn’t a clue. I don’t know what I wanted my first post to be. I could go back and look now, but I’m pretty sure it’s something I had already written long before.
But then I remembered the real truth of it. I’m in love with Nora Ephron.
I slept in my parents’ bed until I was 10 or 11 years old. No one can remember the exact year, probably because it’s like some traumatized memory forced to the back of your mind. I think about it now and I don’t know how my parents put up with me. Pushing, shoving, crying, and undoubtedly peeing.
But I had nightmares. I had so many nightmares. My mother tried to get me to sleep in my own room in my own bed, numerous times and there was nothing more terrifying. Nothing more terrifying than being left with me and my imagination.
Near the end of it, my mom figured out that I would fall asleep in my own room with my own TV with a movie playing. I figured this out too, but it was one movie in particular. Sleepless in Seattle.
I watched Sleepless in Seattle almost every night to fall asleep for, well, I can’t say for how long because it’s still happening. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen it. And sure now you’re panicking, your reading the blog of a crazy person. But hey, now I at least alter between different Nora movies, i.e. When Harry Met Sally, Michael, Hanging Up and well also Mermaids, but that has nothing to do with Ms. Ephron.
And now I must pause and note that I’m doing a terrible injustice to Delia Ephron, whom I love dearly but unfortunately didn’t realize she was a part of this until I was in college and have been desperately trying to make up for loss time. I’m currently reading Mother, Sister, Husband, Dog, etc. and enjoying every single word.
I started to read Nora’s essays, stories, books in college and I fell in love even more. This woman who had lulled me to sleep (and I mean that as a high honor) for my entire life was now speaking even deeper into my soul. I couldn’t believe it. Everything she was saying taught me about myself, about life, made me laugh, made me cry, and made me realize I had to sit down and write everything I was thinking, everything that was happening to me, all of it.
I’d known I wanted “to be” a writer, yes, I’d been writing scripts and whatnot, but Nora taught me that we didn’t all have to be one type of writer. I could do whatever I wanted. If I wanted to write a book I could write a book (working now), if I wanted to write short stories, scripts, essays, even recipes, I could. They were all on my mind, rushing through, all the time. I’ve never felt that I truly fit in anywhere. Everyone seems to be having such a great time and I want to think I am too, but I’m not. And there you have it, Wallflower at the Orgy.
So when I graduated and moved to Los Angeles, to pursue a career in film and writing, I finally said, I’m writing a blog. For realsies this time. I hope you enjoy it, because it’s one of the best decisions I’ve made.